Why is it that as soon as I have a glass of wine in me I want to kiss him?
What am I, 13?
ARGHEHRERHERWIEHROEHRESRHS!
I need to hate him, I need to never want to speak to him again. 'Cause it seems like the only way to stop myself caring about him.
I THOUGHT I HAD FIXED THIS.
I'd lined up dates ffs.
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
Sunday, 17 February 2013
Ouch
I've twisted my ankle through a hilarious hurdle related incident.
Someone come and feed me chocolate/ soup?
Someone come and feed me chocolate/ soup?
It's all good really
I just realised that my blog looks a bit depressing. It's all good really.
I've made the decision that nothing will happen between myself and someone I liked, because if they liked me enough they would have made something happen. Which has freed me up so I can stop being rude to people by not being able to tell them "no I'm not available" and yet not feeling comfortable if they flirt with me.
My fasting is also going well, after a horrendous first day where I failed miserably it's going much better now although tonight will be a real test turning down the dinner I'll be serving to the homeless. I've found time for bible study as well in the time I would usually be cooking which is great.
I'm also getting back into my "what's the worst that could happen" attitude to dating so I may agree to some dates with some nice people. I've got an actor, a photographer, and a classics teacher in tow at the moment that I may stop being busy for. A couple of reporters too but I'm not too sure about either of them.
So yes, I'm not actually being miserable. I just happened to blog in a rather "gahhh" way the last two times.
I've made the decision that nothing will happen between myself and someone I liked, because if they liked me enough they would have made something happen. Which has freed me up so I can stop being rude to people by not being able to tell them "no I'm not available" and yet not feeling comfortable if they flirt with me.
My fasting is also going well, after a horrendous first day where I failed miserably it's going much better now although tonight will be a real test turning down the dinner I'll be serving to the homeless. I've found time for bible study as well in the time I would usually be cooking which is great.
I'm also getting back into my "what's the worst that could happen" attitude to dating so I may agree to some dates with some nice people. I've got an actor, a photographer, and a classics teacher in tow at the moment that I may stop being busy for. A couple of reporters too but I'm not too sure about either of them.
So yes, I'm not actually being miserable. I just happened to blog in a rather "gahhh" way the last two times.
Saturday, 16 February 2013
Lent
Turns out that giving a person up for lent is quite hard, particularly when you are doing it for all the wrong reasons.
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Valentines
I usually forget valentines day a bit; my birthday is just before hand so I'm busy being all exited about that.
This year was no different, a simple "happy valentines day" and a kiss is usually enough for me and this year I didn't even think to expect that.
Because this year.
I'm single.
For the first time in 6 years on valentines day.
Now this didn't particularly faze me, it let me work some over time and I was pleased by that. Then, just as I was finishing shift at work, I started to think "hmm maybe I could pick up some sun-dried tomatoes for that guy I like....".
I know right, I'm such a catch, what a normal train of thought that was....
Luckily at that moment a friend popped into the surgery and we went out to town together preventing any further action on the tomato front.
Having now got home I have realised that there is not one card awaiting my return for the first time in my memory. Thank goodness I didn't leave any dried foodstuffs outside someones door ey?
This year was no different, a simple "happy valentines day" and a kiss is usually enough for me and this year I didn't even think to expect that.
Because this year.
I'm single.
For the first time in 6 years on valentines day.
Now this didn't particularly faze me, it let me work some over time and I was pleased by that. Then, just as I was finishing shift at work, I started to think "hmm maybe I could pick up some sun-dried tomatoes for that guy I like....".
I know right, I'm such a catch, what a normal train of thought that was....
Luckily at that moment a friend popped into the surgery and we went out to town together preventing any further action on the tomato front.
Having now got home I have realised that there is not one card awaiting my return for the first time in my memory. Thank goodness I didn't leave any dried foodstuffs outside someones door ey?
Thursday, 31 January 2013
Lacto free Indulgent Peanutty Pudding Porridge
Last night I was asked by my friend to provide my vegetarian shepherds pie for our cell group next wednesday.
Suddenly I realised: I have no idea how I make it! Having found the original bbc food recipe I could remember the fact that I didn't follow it at all, and that I had long ago adapted to the point of no return. I have absolutely no memory of what those adaptations were though.
So I have decided to try to write down some of those recipes that just organically evolve over time.
I shall start with my (as guilty as you want it to be) peanut, chocolate and banana porridge.
I just polished off a bowl and didn't think to take a photo, I'll try to correct that toot sweet.
Every ingredient I'm going to list is entirely optional except the oats. (but if you're going to skip the peanuts, add a pinch of salt instead)
Oats
Extra fine oat bran
Water
Dark brown sugar
Cocoa nibs
Organic smooth peanut butter
Banana
Honey
Salted peanuts
Pumpkins seeds
Grab a bowl and 1 quarter fill it with oats, top with a fine(ish) layer of oat bran. Add a generous sprinkle of cocoa nibs. Not actual chocolate, unless you don't mind brown porridge and are willing to skip out of some of the other sweeteners. Crumble some dark brown sugar over the top; Not much, and it has to be the properly dark sticky stuff to give a hint of caramel flavour, otherwise don't bother you can just add more honey at the end.
Cover with cold water, bringing the level up by at least 1cm. Add a tiny bit of peanut butter, mix through. Pop it in the microwave for 50 seconds.
Stir.
If it looks like it is getting too thick for your liking but it still not hot, add more water. Remember it will start to thicken after mixing. Pop back in the microwave for 50 seconds.
Take out, stir.
Add one sliced banana, a handful of pumpkin seeds, a handful of salted peanuts and honey to taste. If you skip the honey you can claim vegan points!
Mix it up, eat it up, feel guilty then remember: Hey this is porridge!
Suddenly I realised: I have no idea how I make it! Having found the original bbc food recipe I could remember the fact that I didn't follow it at all, and that I had long ago adapted to the point of no return. I have absolutely no memory of what those adaptations were though.
So I have decided to try to write down some of those recipes that just organically evolve over time.
I shall start with my (as guilty as you want it to be) peanut, chocolate and banana porridge.
I just polished off a bowl and didn't think to take a photo, I'll try to correct that toot sweet.
Every ingredient I'm going to list is entirely optional except the oats. (but if you're going to skip the peanuts, add a pinch of salt instead)
Oats
Extra fine oat bran
Water
Dark brown sugar
Cocoa nibs
Organic smooth peanut butter
Banana
Honey
Salted peanuts
Pumpkins seeds
Grab a bowl and 1 quarter fill it with oats, top with a fine(ish) layer of oat bran. Add a generous sprinkle of cocoa nibs. Not actual chocolate, unless you don't mind brown porridge and are willing to skip out of some of the other sweeteners. Crumble some dark brown sugar over the top; Not much, and it has to be the properly dark sticky stuff to give a hint of caramel flavour, otherwise don't bother you can just add more honey at the end.
Cover with cold water, bringing the level up by at least 1cm. Add a tiny bit of peanut butter, mix through. Pop it in the microwave for 50 seconds.
Stir.
If it looks like it is getting too thick for your liking but it still not hot, add more water. Remember it will start to thicken after mixing. Pop back in the microwave for 50 seconds.
Take out, stir.
Add one sliced banana, a handful of pumpkin seeds, a handful of salted peanuts and honey to taste. If you skip the honey you can claim vegan points!
Mix it up, eat it up, feel guilty then remember: Hey this is porridge!
Saturday, 1 December 2012
No. I'm not happy, but maybe that's just life.
Is that the big secret? That we are all miserable and unfulfilled? Lost as to what we want in this world and where our place is?
Do we all watch tv and go to the movies, drink with friends, listen to our music when ever we're alone, so that we don't get a second of silence. No moment alone with our thoughts because when we think it is scary.
We have been educated in critical analysis and instructed what to feel at each key life stage. Stages that were handily given to us in pamphlet form during a sex ed class; any gaps to be filled by school yard gossip and advertising.
You teens must be confusing and angst ridden, but you must also have sex - with one steady partner. Now is the time to smoke weed.
Your 20's are when you are your most beautiful. If you are not beautiful now you never will be. You should be having sex regularly, knowing their names is optional. If you are still a virgin you are a creep. You shall experiment further with drugs, if you haven't smoked weed yet you are boring, ditto if you haven't had a lesbian experience. You shall drink, continuously. You must be irresponsible. You must love sex. You must be happy. These are the best days of your life, it is all down hill from here.
In your 30's you are successful. You know about wine and you drive a nice car. You do not have room mates. You still love sex unless you are in a relationship. You will be marrying soon, ideally you will be married and pregnant. You go to office parties and watch the news. You are still friends with people from your 20's. You are a milf. you are glamourous.
In your 40's you have a midlife crisis. You're tired by the kids or worse you are single. If so you are beyond Bridget jones levels and may as well be dead. You might change your career, or you might be getting a divorce.
In your 50's you are old and may as well not exist until you are a grandparent and making films about you dating are more com than rom.
But what if you are 20 and unhappy?
What if you are 30 and unemployed?
You turn on your iPod and don't think about it.
Is that the big secret? That we are all miserable and unfulfilled? Lost as to what we want in this world and where our place is?
Do we all watch tv and go to the movies, drink with friends, listen to our music when ever we're alone, so that we don't get a second of silence. No moment alone with our thoughts because when we think it is scary.
We have been educated in critical analysis and instructed what to feel at each key life stage. Stages that were handily given to us in pamphlet form during a sex ed class; any gaps to be filled by school yard gossip and advertising.
You teens must be confusing and angst ridden, but you must also have sex - with one steady partner. Now is the time to smoke weed.
Your 20's are when you are your most beautiful. If you are not beautiful now you never will be. You should be having sex regularly, knowing their names is optional. If you are still a virgin you are a creep. You shall experiment further with drugs, if you haven't smoked weed yet you are boring, ditto if you haven't had a lesbian experience. You shall drink, continuously. You must be irresponsible. You must love sex. You must be happy. These are the best days of your life, it is all down hill from here.
In your 30's you are successful. You know about wine and you drive a nice car. You do not have room mates. You still love sex unless you are in a relationship. You will be marrying soon, ideally you will be married and pregnant. You go to office parties and watch the news. You are still friends with people from your 20's. You are a milf. you are glamourous.
In your 40's you have a midlife crisis. You're tired by the kids or worse you are single. If so you are beyond Bridget jones levels and may as well be dead. You might change your career, or you might be getting a divorce.
In your 50's you are old and may as well not exist until you are a grandparent and making films about you dating are more com than rom.
But what if you are 20 and unhappy?
What if you are 30 and unemployed?
You turn on your iPod and don't think about it.
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