funny how things work

I didn't think about him really once during the first term, spent the second term with him constantly at the back of my mind.
I need to go back to then, i need to go back to feeling how i did back then- rarely giving him a passing thought.

Who needs love? Not I.

Oh the bleakness of heartbreak.

Of course I knew exactly what I was setting myself up for when I started the coversation with him. I knew what the answer would be.
I just needed to put myself out of my misery, I needed to stop whipping a dead horse and holding onto hopes that had no chance to fruitition.
"Tell him you love him, just yell it out, everything will work out"
Oh wait... I just did that "I'll never stop loving you"
Everything wont work out, everything is over- deal with it move on. It is why you engaged in this hurtfull exersize anyway really, despite all your niave childish hopes deep down you knew why you were doing it.

So why am I still burning this flipping candle?
I just need to face facts.

I want to go to sleep and never wake up.

The Church of Wagamamas

I definitely failed to attend a service today. Instead I went to Wagamamas with Cath where we had many a theological discussion.

Surprisingly I'm not even being sarcastic.

There was talk of Jesus over cheese cake.

Church

I am supposed to be going to church tonight. Scary Times.

Maybe I shouldn't go.

A good friend once told me to avoid holy water in case I burn.

New Lingerie!

The last donation was made today and so my lingerie set should arrive soon!

Unfortunately people took to long to donate and so the original set is no longer being sold so I am receiving a nice little polka dot number instead.

But hey- Free Lingerie!

Heart Ache

Today I received a facebook message from her and it felt like my heart had been ripped from my breast.

Bang Bang my baby shot me down...

"You know Craig, I like you more and more... and I'll have to be careful incase I start liking you too much."

"cool"

"But being shot down with a 'cool' helps put that off I guess"

Now you may think me childish for saying "i really like you craig" but i consider it to be more immature to throw alteritive L words around nilly willy.

Also I am rarely sweet, kind, loving, or affectionate in anyway other than physical so to say that was a bit of a thing. To be shot down kinda sucks.

Alot.