TRYING to be good

I am trying very hard to be good right now.
After a week of making some mistakes, doing some foolish things, I am trying very hard to be well behaved.

Hard is the right word. This is not easy.

A new temptation arrives every few hours.

This would be hard enough WITHOUT opportunity. I'm not naturally well behaved in these matters. I don't need people tempting me to stray.

GAAAAHH

why cant I just act out and feel no regrets with my self esteem still intact at the end of it all?